I’ve mentioned in the past that I am not a patient person, in fact, I don’t know anyone who would ever use the word patient to describe me. I wield a mighty list, and I like to check items off of said list. That said, at times, it’s best not to get in my way! I want results and I want it now. I’m not exactly painting myself in a good picture am I? And, actually that’s the point here, if I am to be honest about my struggles, especially in my faith life, then I have to be transparent, I have to keep it honest, and that’s where my accountability has to be with those who read my postings. I desire to achieve patience, yet I am woefully inadequate on this front. Time after time, I fail. Time after time, I pick myself up, dust myself off, and try again. Unfortunately, it’s my wonderful husband that feels the brunt of my impatience. Sorry, sweetheart!
I have a variety of Bible verses that have become central, integral to me. Those verses are in front of my eyes each and every single day. I see them, I read them, I pray them over my life.
First and foremost:
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10, ESV) I know that I fail day after day, and I want God to help me start fresh the very moment that I open up my eyes. This verse helps me sincerely focus just how I want to conduct myself over the course of the day.
Another verse that is so very important to me is:
“Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.” (Psalm 37:5, ESV) For the ultra impatient part of me, this verse helps me to remember that God’s timing is always best. I am someone who regularly takes her problems to God, lays them at His feet, and sincerely asks Him to take over – all good there right? But, then when I think that God has either forgot, or perhaps even more so, I begin to think that He really wants me to take over and solve said problem – that’s when the epic part of failure happens. I know this, I’ve experienced it time and time again, yet, something inside of me just won’t let me keep my hands off. And, of course, I almost always mess things up, make things worse, and then God not only has to fix the original problem, but then has to clean up the extra mess that I’ve made.
When I mess up again, when I take matters into my own hands, well, that’s when I have/need to quote the Apostle Paul when he said: “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” (Romans 7:15, ESV) Sound familiar? Does this also happen to you? Perhaps your issue is not impatience, but something else?
I think it’s a constant struggle that we Christians face. Day after day, we need to humble ourselves, and let the Holy Spirit work in our lives so that little by little we begin to look a bit more like Jesus and less like our old selves. And, thankfully, God is gracious enough to forgive us for each and every time we fail, for each and every time that we mess up, for each and every time we turn our face back in His direction. To me that’s the amazing part – failure is not final. God always forgives His children, God always restores us back to Him.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9, ESV)
Hallelujah! Thank you God!