“I’ve got a good heart, but this mouth,” that’s the saying that I came across this morning. I can’t find the author of this particular saying. Just do an internet search on the phrase and you’ll find plenty of images of t-shirts adorned with these, or very similar, words. So, obviously, the saying didn’t come from me. But, it could have come from me, and I’m guessing that it could have also come from you too.
My intentions are good. My mouth however gets me into much trouble! While I wish to display, godly, kind behavior at all moments – to keep myself under calm control – to think before I speak, I fail miserably. The words come pouring out of my mouth in a most unflattering fashion. And, oops, I’ve done it again!
Although it’s bad, I like to think that it wouldn’t be so bad if this only happened say once every six months. Think of it, let’s say it’s March 23rd and some snarky or passive aggressive comment comes out of my mouth. Well then, it’s bad, but I now know that my snarkiness is out, and I’m safe until September 23rd. Hey, I’d take that, since it would be a vast improvement on my current conditions. It is daily, that some type of comment comes out of my mouth that is snarky. And, I don’t like that I do that. Often, that still small voice within me immediately convicts me. But, what’s even worse is that sometimes I don’t even realize that I’ve said something hurtful
Yesterday, the words came out and this time they were directed towards my dear husband. It just so happens that we were home for a few days before we head back out on the road. We have a door that opens from the back of the garage onto the patio in our backyard. When our main garage door is open, we often get a breeze going through the garage. There have been many, many times when a strong breeze flows through the garage and slams the door that leads into the backyard. It’s a loud slam, and one that really startles me. So I have a habit of wedging something in front of that door to stop the wind from making the door slam. My husband has a habit of removing said wedge from the door, since my husband has never witnessed said door from slamming. Now he’s been living in this house for 16 years, I’ve been here for four years. So, since the door slamming had not happened to him before, he didn’t believe me that such a thing happens. Well, it indeed happened yesterday. S-L-A-M!!!, and the sound reverberated in our home. It was predictable that he would be startled, and he was. “WHAT, was that?” He asked. And, in a small moment of glib triumph that mouth of mine got the best of me. “That’s the garage door slamming because you didn’t wedge something in front of the door when you opened it. That’s what the garage door does, that you said it didn’t do.” That was a passive-aggressive response right from the very core. You see, we’ve had this garage door discussion many times, and it’s been frustrating on my end because my husband seemed to think that because he’s never experienced such a thing, well then it wouldn’t, couldn’t ever happen. So, when the door slammed yesterday, I felt vindicated, and I sure didn’t waste any time throwing out a rather cutting comment to the like.
Man, oh man, did I ever feel bad after I said that comment. Immediately, I was convicted, and believe me, I had quite a conversation with myself over that comment. This small incident, perhaps seemingly insignificant incident to others, came with a big, giant lesson for me. It reminded me that once again, I fall short. It reminded me that I treated my dearest love, my soulmate, very unkindly with my cutting words. All, to make myself feel better, because this time I was right, and he was wrong. Only now I realize that the lesson wasn’t Jim’s lesson, the lesson was mine.
God’s conviction, was a reminder showing me that I still have work, lots and lots of work to do, to get my mouth under control. I have made some strides on my part, I can see that I am so much better than I used to me. But there’s a long way to go.
I’ve got a good heart, but oh, that mouth of mine gets me every time!
“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.” (1 Timothy 2:1-2, ESV)
Believing God, trusting God, adoring God, walking with God, growing with God, confessing to God, talking with God, listening to God, learning with God – it’s the Heart of the Journey ❤️