Hmm. We ask God for so many things, don’t we? We ask for healing, we ask for financial independence, we ask for blessing, we ask for favor. So many times we ask for things to make our life better, smoother. After all, I don’t know very many people who like strife, stress, or any other types of adverse conditions. Yet, on the other hand we long to be in a close relationship with God, and we realize that we have faults (for sure I’m loaded with them!). Then perhaps we, like David we ask “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalms 139:23, ESV). But, do we really want God to answer David’s request? Perhaps God’s answer is not something that we really want to experience, let alone hear.
If you are at all like me, we place ourselves in these positions time after time. I want God’s blessings and favor when it’s full of good things for me, the things that I want. But, I don’t like the hard times, those times where my entire soul is grieved over something, right down to the point where I cannot function, I cannot eat, I cannot sleep. Yet, it’s those times that God uses me to re-focus my attention, to grow me, to bring me to the place where He gives me my greatest blessings. Those wilderness times have brought the biggest changes and the biggest blessings. When I am going through those wilderness times (and there’s been too many to list) I can’t see which direction to turn, I cannot even imagine how things will turn out, let alone turn out for the better. But, time and time again, God comes through, and it’s not anything that I’ve done for which I can claim the credit. It was God and God alone who rescued me. The old saying “Hindsight is 20/20” comes to mind here. Because for me, it is after I am through a situation that I can clearly see how God was there (isn’t wonderful that God is always there?), and He was orchestrating things in the background all along to bring me where I am today.
And this may sound strange but, I am thankful for the times in which I’ve asked God for things that He really didn’t want me to go through. Because, although He gave them to me, He also held my hand through all of the consequences of each of those things that were not in my best interest, and He delivered me back unto Himself. He restores me through His grace and unconditional love.
And hopefully, I’ve learned something valuable, hopefully I’ve learned to completely place my trust, my wants, and my needs directly into God’s guidance. Now, if only I could learn this lesson for good!