I Don’t Fit In

IMG_2764Pretty much my whole life has been spent feeling that I don’t fit in. I’m not quite a misfit, but just feeling that I just don’t fit in. I’m not quick enough on my feet. I am not smart enough. I don’t have enough shining qualities to be embraced wholeheartedly by others. I am not comfortable. I am not important. I don’t have significance. I’m just average. Yet, I have heard from others that their first impression of me is that I carry myself as if I think that I am better than them. What a disconnect! I perceive one thing about me, while others perceive the opposite. Yet, even with this perception, I have pretty much always felt like I don’t fit in, that I am not loved and accepted.

That’s who I am when I dwell in the world, and I suspect that there are plenty of others who may feel as if they are a kindred spirit. This daily focus on the world can destroy us, the enemy is ever on attack, to chip away our focus from our Lord. The enemy wants us to focus on those tangible things that we can see, touch, taste. And, the enemy wants us to dwell in the pit, to be hopeless, to feel that we are not good enough, not holy enough, that we are too deeply flawed to be loved and accepted.

But, if we are with God, as His child, then other things happen within us. For me, there’s a certain, welcoming peace that enters deep into the core, the very soul of me when I begin my day with my Abba Father. As I come to God and His Word, I am in awe that I, a sinful, deeply flawed person, one who is capable of so many selfish desires is intensely loved and cherished by God. I am accepted, boosted up, comforted, protected, cherished, helped – I am loved unconditionally by the Ultimate Father. I fit in. I am God’s cherished daughter, a Princess. He calls to me, He soothes me. In truth, I am who the Great I AM says that I am. I am His. And, I am Home.

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